Welcome to 2011, that'll be $10.

It was a cold, wet and rainy news years eve. While most women my age in San Francisco were getting into their sequence dresses, I was leaving the fast food drive-in, heading home to watch movies and I couldn't be happier about it. I dislike New Years Eve. Let me rephrase that, I dislike going out and doing your "typical" New Years Eve shebangs. This surprises even myself because I love nothing more than dressing up, hitting the town and having a good time. But one year I decided to stay in and watch movies to bring in the new year and have made this my new ritual ever since. I pulled into my mothers driveway, had an extremely large soda in one hand, my bag of hot food under my elbow and the rest of my belongings in the other hand. I got inside and had a good time settling in for the night and enjoying my greasy food and over sized orange soda. What I haven't mentioned up until this point is that I had $40 to my name. Four ten dollar bills to be exact. When I finished my food I grabbed my wallet, just to scan my funds. Thats when I saw something horrible; I was missing one of my ten dollar bills. My immediate reaction was shock. Somewhere in my journey from the city to my brothers house to pick up his dog, to the fast food joint to my mothers house, I had lost 25% of every penny I had. I felt my body getting really hot with rage. How, where, when did I lose that bill?? Was it when I was getting the dog in the car? Was it when I took my wallet out to pay the restaurant? Did they short change me? Now, $10 may not seem like a lot, but at the time I had no job and no idea where my next allotment of money was going to come from, so to lose 1/4 of all my funds out of nowhere was a huge disappointment and promised to put a major damper on my new year celebration; party of one (two if you count the dog).
Then, a wave of enlightenment came over me. I recently learned the concept of trusting and accepting whatever comes your way. Trusting that it is for your greater good, trusting that everything happens for a positive reason, and accepting that you may not be able to see the greater reasoning behind the daily events in your life, especially in events that just suck, like losing a significant chunk of your money to seemingly thin air.
So at that moment, I took a deep breathe, trusted the Universe and said to myself: "I don't know why I just lost that money, but I am going to trust that it was done for a greater good, even if I have no idea why or how and even if it makes me want to feel pissed off and victimized." I have to say, just taking that frame of mind made me feel better. But to be honest, I took that stance for purely selfish reasons. It was New Years Eve and I wasn't about to bring in the new year as a bitter, improvised feeling victim. I accepted the loss and I genuinely moved on.
Fast forward about a month and a half. I was bored. I was suffering from cabin fever in the middle of one of the most vibrant cities in the world. I still had no job, and thus no income. My remaining $30 from New Years Eve was now spent and I was broke beyond broke. But when I get the itch for a night out on the town, it must be scratched and ain't nothing gonna stand in my way. Since I didn't have any friends around that night in the city, I called my trusty friend in Sacramento and asked if she wanted to go out. As certain as the sky is blue, she was down to go out. Now my only two problems were that I had no money and a gas needle just below 1/8 a tank. I wasn't sure how much gas it was going to take me to get an hour north, but I was pretty sure it was gonna take more than 1/8 of a tank. But I didn't care. I had an intention and it was set: I was going out tonight with my friend....90 miles away. I did my hair, I got dressed up, and I headed out. I got to the gas station about 4 blocks from my house and I literally gathered up every penny I had, which came to about $2.57. I gave the change to the gas station attendant and pumped the gas for what took about 10 seconds to put that much (or should I say little) gas in my tank. I started thinking about my 90 mile journey. I started getting a little nervous. I was probably not going to make it, my logical brain started telling me. I might almost make it, but I will more than likely run out of gas on the way there and have to get a tow. Was this worth it for an impulsive desire to cut loose on a Friday night? Eh, onward bound! I shook off the naysayer in my head and opened my car door. When I looked down at the seat of my car, sitting there as if elegantly placed so there was no way I could miss it, was a crisp, clean and spread out ten dollar bill. I could not believe it. It wasn't wrinkled up in the corner, it wasn't sticking out in between my seat cushions, no, it was lying there like someone had placed it there for me to find upon my return. I could not believe it. The $10 bill that I had "lost" but decided to divinely bless and accept that it might have disappeared for the greater good, had now suddenly shown up at the exact moment that I needed it the most. I was able to get myself safely to my friends house and back with that $10 worth of gas. I am certain that without it I would have broke down somewhere along the dark freeway. I then thought about how if I hadn't lost that bill, I surely would have blew it on something like a movie or a burrito or something that would at this present moment be long gone. But it was like my higher self was able to see the future me, the stubborn me, and my trip North. It was as if it  "borrowed" the gas money, put it God knows where til I needed it, and then presented itself when it saw that I was 100% intent on making this trip. Unbelievable.


I learned a couple lessons from this experience: 1. Even if something as sucky as losing 25% of your money to thin air happens, bless it and truly accept that you do not always have the ability to see the bigger picture and the greater reason. Accept that it did happen for a reason, a reason that will benefit you in the long run, if you let it. And. 2. If you have a desire, go for it. Even if you don't see how you're going to get it, or in this case, get there. Just go for it. March forward and trust that the Universe has your back and will provide what is needed. I had no idea how I was going to get 90 miles away but I got in my car anyway. Had I accepted that I was a Limited Being with limited resources and thus could never make it out of town, I have a feeling that $10 bill would be gone forever, maybe. I also have a feeling that if I, back on that new years eve, let myself remain pissed-off and victimized I would not have let myself move forward in such a way that would allow such divine intervention in my life. I would be resonating at a lower vibration, the kind of vibration that finds you stranded on the side of a dark freeway in high heels and curled hair, wondering "why me??". You can pave the path to your better future at any point, no matter where you stand. Even if its home alone on new years with $40, scratch that, $30 to your name.
:)